August 21, 2014

Former Mars Hill pastors bring formal charges against Mark Driscoll ; Narcisissm in the church and its enablers

Twenty-One Former Mars Hill Church Pastors Bring Formal Charges Against Mark Driscoll

There is a pdf in that article that delineates some of the charges (by far not ALL of them, just representative examples, concentrating on stuff that is recent to demonstrate the fact that it is still going on, and has been for years.)  It's jaw dropping to think of any pastor using the narcissistic, self absorbed, abusive, harassing, sexually humiliating language Mark Driscoll has used personally on people who are supposed to be his co-elders.

Also, in the pdf there is a list of URL's to a 5 part lecture series by Dr Diane Langberg, PhD that is so amazingly accurate in describing how this epidemic of Narcissism ("lovers of self") works.  It seems to fit so many messed up pastors (not just Mark Driscoll) and people who aspire to leadership and use others but may not yet have a leadership position in the church. People like Philip Stallings.


The opening to the 4th part
" there are some major difficulties in working with such a person that we need to understand. One: If loyalty is to his own importance, and any means that he can use to service that end, how do we  intervene?  How do we treat or speak to the narcissist?  Because it would seem, if you think about it, that any intervention or confrontation threatens their fortifications, their fabrications, thereby escalating them.  If I feel like your'e about to break my wall down or climb over it, I'm going to build it higher, right?  Which is not exactly a good outcome.  So there is also the subtle deception that can wrap itself around somebody attempting to intervene or help a narcissist.  You are sitting there with somebody who is pretty impervious to what you have to say.  That can be a little frustrating. You're encouraging them to have insight, you want them to have empathy and to care for others.  The Narcissist sitting across from you is looking for grandiosity and attention and approval, and may attempt to achieve it by becoming in the moment in your presence in your office the greatest repenter that ever lived.  He will attempt to deliver the goods desired to feed the ever-hungry monster of being the best at whatever he is doing.  So it's quite easy you see, to catch the disease and you begin to think 'Wow, look at this repentance.  I'm the best intervener.'  Now we have two narcissists.  Look what you have wrought.  When in reality what you've really done is just get caught up in the system, the belief system that he has, and bought the lie.  Because what's happened is the narcissist has finagled things in his relationship with you so that he's still the best.  He's the best repenter.  And so are you [the best at something] because you're the one who got him there. So he will drag you along with him to also be the best so that he can still be the best.

It's also very easy for the system surrounding the narcissist to buy the lie because to lose the narcissist threatens their viability. So if you have a narcissistic leader in an organization and he's pumping stuff out productivity-wise or numbers-wise or whatever, nobody wants to touch the problems, which is exactly what the narcissist wants.  Because if you touch the problems the organization might fall down.

And so the time-honored truths of God, which are that repentance and transformation are very slow and take time, are pushed aside.

Romans 5:4 says Steadfastness is proof of soundness, or perseverance is proof of takes faithful change and perseverance for character to be reshaped.  And of course you don't really have to look very far, if you look on google news or in the papers, you know, we have political failures ad nauseam that are ripe with examples of 'Oops didn't mean to do that, sorry you caught me, I think I'll run again next year. I'm all better.  I changed my mind, I'm not going to do it anymore.'" a perfect description of what Tim Brown of is doing with his new author Philip Stallings. Getting caught up in the narcissism himself.  SMH.  No one is so blind as him who will not see.

She also makes a good point to remind people that it is almost never the majority who raises the alarm, because the system is too invested in the narcissistic leader.  Or they will boot the leader and put in another one so they can refuse to acknowledge how they have contributed to the problem. (cough, Acts 29...)

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith. But they will not get very far, for their folly will be plain to all, as was that of those two men. 
2 Tim 3:1-9