February 25, 2009

A Generation Of Vipers by Albert Anderson, Drake W. Travis, Aimee Anderson

The following is a report from a former pastor and wife in the Christian & Missionary Alliance denomination who have exposed corruption and instead of the corruption being dealt with, they were expelled themselves. They have published a book exposing the evil present in this denomination which is available here:

A Generation Of Vipers by Albert Anderson, Drake W. Travis (Foreword by), Aimee Anderson

Before I get to the report, I might note that during this process and in the report, even this man was accused of having a bad attitude. Imagine, a 'bad' attitude/anger/hopelessness coming through in his writing after seeing his legitimate complaints of evil behavior by those claiming the title of 'pastor.'  Oh the shame of it all!

On the contrary, I applaud him for having such an attitude. In fact if he didn't, I would think him to be sorely lacking in compassion for those oppressed by the false teachers he has confronted and continues to confront.

The only issue I would raise is that I think the Sinner/Saint issue is probably beside the point when things get this bad.  This would be something that could be disagreed upon, depending how you define it.  Definitions have gotten so confused these days.   But even so, this issue is nothing compared to the blatant sinful behavior in which this pastor was regularly partaking and the blasphemous abusive way he was running the church. I think the sinner/saint issue was a confusion of definitions of terms. For example, I do sin every day, and even when I am unaware of it I am sure. But I am also one of the saints. I don't know how anyone can think they don't sin every day. Now, I don't go out speaking profanity and vulgarity and abusing my brothers and sisters in Christ as Tim Owen apparently does/did. But like all of us, I have those 'respectable' sins (worry, doubt, anger, impatience, unforgiveness, vanity, everything which makes me 'not perfect' as my father in heaven is perfect!) which also would condemn me to hell, were it not for the blood of Christ covering them. A Saint is just a forgiven sinner. However I think we had two different incorrect definitions of 'sinner' going on here and that just added to the confusion. If Owen had actually been a pastor rather than an unregenerate teenage boy, he may have actually sat down and worked this out with people so they could come to a unity in the truth on this issue.

I'm also appalled at the letter from David Wright, which ends by basically saying that the person who tried to expose evil is unsaved and needs to GET saved. "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!" (Is 5:20) Travis, Aimee, and Albert, welcome to Club 'Kicked Out Of The Camp' - the place where Jesus is.

I removed any personal residence contact info.  I did not remove corporate mailing addresses for the denomination and contact info for the denomination.

Without any further ado, here is the testimony. I will not blockquote anything, to save space. Everything from here on out is a quote of what was sent to me:

CHRISTIAN AND MISSIONARY ALLIANCE CHURCH REPORTED HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSES AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT OF A FEMALE STAFF MEMBER

The following events and letters depict how a member and employee of the Christian and Missionary Alliance Church reported human rights abuses and sexual harassment of a female staff member. This resulted in a collaboration and coverup and co-conspiracy of retaliation against the informant (Drake Travis) by Jerry Mapstone, Asst to the Vice and Donald Wiggens, President Division of Church Ministries, Kelvin Gardiner, Pacific Northwest District Superintendent, andTim Owen (the abuser), Pastor of Ellensburg, Washington Christian and Missionary Alliance Church (now promoted to DS for Rocky Mountain District of the CMA). Blame the victim(s) and promote the perpetrator!

Quotes from one of Drake Travis' , Member and Employee of Ellensburg,Washington Christian & Missionary Alliance Church

Letters as read in the book, A GENERATION OF VIPERS, by Albert E. and Aimee D. Anderson- permission given to James Sundquist to quote.

Letter from Drake Travis to Christian and Missionary Alliance Headquarters:

Date November 25, 2000:

"Things about Tim Owen that do not reflect well of a Pastor, a minister of the Gospel, and the Christian and Missionary Alliance as a whole or its leadership at any level:

~He knew Drake took a stand for abstinence preaching to the collegians of the Salt Co. Ministry. In a conversation once regarding this, Tim commented, “ah, the kids are f---ing each other anyway. They may as well put on a condom. I don’t want to pay for all the diseases they spread.”

~Tim tells us on staff about service one receives at a hair salon here in town. “They put oil on your head and massage your scalp. I usually get an er------, “ha ha ha.” . . . Speaking for myself, I never knew what to do when he carried on like this.

~Tim, in his struggle with acceptance among other people takes the “initiative” to pepper his conversation with profanity. In that way if you are going to reject him as a person this will help you hurry up and get on with it. (I’ve heard him give this explanation verbatim in 1992, 1993, 1997.) If your friendship passes this test of his, then one can be Tim’s friend. If not, then you are a prude. “Yeah, our righteousness is b---s—,” says Tim.

~1994 or ‘95 we (with Tim) are going through resumes for hiring a new secretary. In a staff meeting, he yucks it up with the guys saying, “We’ll probably hire whoever has the biggest b--bs.” [We were all supposed to laugh.]

~When we purchased a new bus ‘for a song,’ the time came for the inaugural drive around town. The staff settled in to plush seats with footrests, head-rests, etc. It was an exciting experience to buy a $120,000 bus for $4,000! Then came Tim’s comment, “Hey, does anyone have an er------?” What do we do when the Senior “pastor” talks like this regularly?

~He once went on in a Sunday sermon about a trip he took to Vegas: playing the slots, shucking quarters, blowing money, winning money. I sat there at a loss wondering what in the world his purpose was. I mean there are those in the congregation who hear one anecdote and off they go. Their defense is, “well, Pastor does it.”

~It always made me uneasy about our staff gathering each morning having nothing to do with God: nothing. I did cut in once when we were having “staff ‘prayer’ time” and suggested that we didn’t need to go on another senseless, godless, brainless escapade through idiotville talking about everything from soup to nuts to NBA egos. I drew the horse’s laugh from staff and a look from Tim that bellowed, “Gimme a break, you goody two shoes!” From then on, CMA Church always felt like an unsafe place for one’s heart, spirit, and soul to grow. Believe me, if Salt wasn’t growing 75% annually, I would have packed my things in a moment. The atmosphere with Tim behind closed doors was often tiresome, sometimes sickening. And when one crossed him, it was humiliating. Sanctification is not one of his concerns in life.

~[1993] Drake was trying to reconcile with a top notch musician on the worship team. There was a minor tiff from an honest mistake that Drake had made. The musician’s attitude still concerned me. I don’t like provoking people and I still felt regret, even three days later. Tim tries to console me with, “Hey, don’t worry about that guy. He’s an a-- hole”. Uh, excuse me! The man donates hundreds of hours to Ellensburg CMA and I personally love him (the “a–hole”) and his family to this day.

~In nearly nine years of knowing Tim Owen, the following was the worst: Staff meeting ca. 98 Trish got a thrashing from Tim: We were circled up: Tim Owen, Greg Phelps, Dwayne Smithgall, Drake Travis, Trish Dick, and intern (I think it was Eric Byers). Trish was having some personal struggles of being devalued (so she fessed up later). But, at the time, she did not feel like talking about it. She said she just needed some time to “process” a few things and didn’t feel right about sharing it yet. They bantered a bit. Then Tim became angry at what he perceived to be insubordination. He leaned into her face and demanded, “Trish, you are going to talk and you are going to talk now! I want staff unity and openness around here. Now what’s going on with you!” She still didn’t feel it was right yet and meekly confessed, “Tim, please, I can’t talk about it yet. I need to process my feelings first.” Trish could not share and Tim was enraged. He leaned back in his chair and sighed loudly, “I am sure not glad I hired you, a woman. I am going to think real long and hard before I ever hire another woman!”

[Are you hearing this?]

The staff, myself included, sat there shocked and distressed at such abysmal treatment of our sister. I, Drake Travis, thought it was disgusting to see a colleague and dear friend treated like a worm, to be slammed and insulted like that for her feelings and her gender -- something God did, not man. It seemed equally intriguing that Trish suffered such words from someone who touts himself as a champion for women in ministry.

In retrospect, did I speak up in Trish’s defense? No, I could not; so I thought. I had been under Tim for five to six years by now and was becoming dispirited over getting reprimanded for checking him. I was not up for a squall. I regret that to this day.

TESTIMONY OF TWO ELDERS IN THE FAITH WHO CORROBORATED DRAKE TRAVIS TESTIMONY

November 25, 2000

Rev. Donald Wiggins, V. P. Division of Church Ministries
CHRISTIAN and MISSIONARY ALLIANCE
8595 Explorer Drive 
P.O. Box 35000
Colorado Springs,CO 80935-3500

Rev. Jerry Mapstone, Assistant Vice President
CHRISTIAN and MISSIONARY ALLIANCE
8595 Explorer Drive
Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Dear Brethren:

Greetings in the name of our Wonderful Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ! With mixed emotions and heavy hearts, we are sending this communication to the respective names above. At the outset, allow us the opportunity to briefly identify ourselves. I (Albert) was a credentialed minister with the ASSEMBLIES OF GOD for more than forty-six years.

Due to our involvement in bringing to light certain illegal and unchristian activities and refusing to stop, I was dismissed from the A/G in 1996. [It should be noted that the issues just referred to are presently part of a criminal Federal Grand Jury case. Unfortunately Federal cases often do not move swiftly; thus we are still involved, though not privy to details.] Upon my dismissal from the A/G, I immediately joined another Evangelical organization of which I am presently a credentialed member.

Approximately four years ago my wife Aimee and I with our youngest son began attending the Ellensburg CMA church where Tim Owen is pastor. Shortly thereafter, our oldest daughter Deborah with her husband and their two children also began attending. My wife Aimee and I have helped with the Senior Adults, where I have ministered God’s Word and Aimee and I ministered in music. Also, both of us have periodically read the Scripture in the 11:00 a.m. service, as well as on a regular monthly basis helping serve Communion. Our youngest son, Jonathan, has also read Scripture and has helped serve Communion, as well. On occasion I (Albert) have taught an Adult Sunday School class that we regularly attend.

Though encouraged to become members, we have not done so to date. One of the reasons for membership was that this was necessary to become eligible for a possible Elder position that I was asked to consider, obviously with Pastor Tim’s approval. Our daughter and her husband are involved in the youth department, as well as she and their daughter in choir, piano, and vocal ministry. We have regularly contributed tithes and offerings.

We have learned to love many people in the church and especially those in our Sunday School class. We have taken a quiet back seat in the church, only wanting to be a blessing to Tim and those around us.

Many times we have felt inspired to write Pastor Tim an encouragement note on Sunday morning, thanking him for proclaiming the Word of God and telling him, “We are praying for you.” Also, different times in conversation, we have expressed our deep appreciation for him.

Other times we have left the church with a very disturbed and sad heart because some of what he said in his message (in our understanding) did not line up with the Word of God. A few weeks ago Tim told the congregation, “Turn to your neighbor and tell them, ‘I am a sinner.’” We took great exception to this because the Bible tells us that after we accept Christ as our Saviour and Lord, we are heirs and joint heirs with Christ. No longer does sin have dominion over us. “Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid.” Then again this November 19, Tim said, “ Turn to your neighbor and say, ‘I am a saint.’” He told the congregation that they were sinners and saints at the same time. Also, he said, “I think we are rather mixed up.” Yes, we believe anyone who does not know the great difference between SINNER and SAINT is very mixed up. The book of Revelation tells the CHURCH that they are to be either HOT or COLD or God will spue them out of His mouth.

One time I, Aimee, phoned and asked Tim if he was going to continue having dancers perform on the platform. He answered, “I sure hope so.” On November 12, the school of dance (maybe ten or more females in bright red outfits) came in and performed before Tim brought the Sunday morning message. One Sunday morning when the female dancer came down and performed at Pastor Tim’s feet, it reminded me of the King who had the female dancers come and perform their sensual dance for the King’s pleasure. (We are not against a truly spiritual, spontaneous Holy-Spirit inspired dance unto the Lord.) One lady told Aimee that she cried on the way home and told her husband she was not going to go back into the auditorium again unless her husband forced her to. She called it a “sensuous dance.” Later she told me, “When you find a good church, let us know.”

God has given both of us a compassionate heart for the down-trodden and for years our ears and hearts have been open to their cries for help. Recently, we have had different ones come to us and share some of their heartaches and deep concerns about Pastor Tim’s conduct, including his language and how he has treated them. Thus, after counsel from Jerry Mapstone, our letter and the other letters contained herein are being sent to you for your prayerful consideration and investigation of the charges contained in each of the letters enclosed.

November 22, 2000, Pastor Tim phoned and asked Aimee if he could speak with her husband Albert. Tim told Albert that he had heard from Robert Martin that Drake Travis had told him that Tim was under investigation and that Drake gave Martin our phone number. Tim asked Albert if he had anything to say about that. Albert told him he did not know Robert Martin, but did say that Drake had come to us and talked and we had prayed with him. Albert then said, “I would like to tell you Tim that I have been thinking about writing a letter to you. About two weeks ago you said, Turn to your neighbor and say, ‘I am a sinner.’ Then this last Sunday you said, Turn to your neighbor and say, ‘I am a saint.’ I disagree with that. I feel sorry for the young people.”

Tim quickly responded with. “Well, maybe you should go to another church. That is why there are lots of churches in town. I’m the PASTOR and if you don’t agree, you can go to another church. He also informed Albert that he would be telling the Board. Our discussion ended.

Needless to say, after this cold conversation Albert and Aimee were devastated. Now they understood the people that have shared with them. “Tim can’t stand it when anybody disagrees with him.”

November 23, Thanksgiving morning, David Wright phoned and told Aimee that Pastor Tim asked him to phone us to see if he (David Wright and Mike Milligan - two Elders in the CMA church) could come to our (Albert and Aimee) home tomorrow and talk to us. Aimee questioned him several times about the reason or motive for Tim wanting David and Mike to talk to us. I told him I would discuss it with my husband and phone him back. David was very thoughtful, kind, and understanding as I told him that Tim phoned November 22 and asked to speak with my husband Albert. I related the details of Tim’s phone conversation to David.

After talking to Albert about Tim’s request through David for a meeting, Aimee phoned David back about an hour later and told him we needed some time to pray. Neither one of us felt up to another confrontation so soon after Tim’s unkind dismissal.

November 24, Pastor Tim phoned and asked Aimee if he could talk to Albert. Because of Albert’s health, Aimee was protective and asked, “What would you like to talk to him about?” Tim answered, I want to apologize to Albert.” Aimee said, “Tim I want you to know I am going to be on the phone.” After the conversation, we realized it wasn’t much of an apology because immediately Tim asked if we were cooperating with what Drake was doing. We were noncommittal. He told Albert and Aimee, “If you come back to church, I will take it to mean that you are not part of what Drake is doing.” We said we wanted to pray about it. We talked a little bit about the dancing and also about the “sinner and saint” issue. He indicated it would be better if we found another church if we did not agree with him but we could sit down sometime and discuss it. Aimee said, “Tim, I do not sin every day.” Tim immediately responded, “I do!” Aimee asked, “How do you sin every day?” Tim did not respond to this question. This question to Tim from Aimee was in reference to one Sunday morning in the 11:00 a.m. service Pastor Tim said in his sermon “I have never gone a day without needing to ask for forgiveness of sin” and then again when he said, “Turn to your neighbor and say, ‘I am a sinner.’”

This letter is written with love and prayers for God’s very best for all concerned. Thank you for your prayerful consideration.

Because of Jesus,
Albert E and Aimee D. Anderson
(street #, street name removed)
(city, state, zip removed)
Phone: ***-***-**** - Fax: ***-***-****
E-mail: (userid)@(domainremoved).com
cc: Rev. Kelvin Gardiner, District Superintendent

==================================

December 21, 2000
Rev. Kelvin Gardiner,
CHRISTIAN & MISSIONARY ALLIANCE
P.O. Box 1030 
(street #, street name removed)
Canby, Oregon 97013

Dear Brother Gardiner:

Please find enclosed our eight-page statement that Aimee read at the Ellensburg CMA Elder’s board meeting, as well as the two page statement that Larry Fookes read at the same board meeting.

There were nine Elders present at the board meeting last night and seventeen other involved people (including both of us), a total of 26 altogether. As you will read in Larry’s statement, Larry Fookes and Bob Greene have agreed to co-chair the protest group. We are very thankful for their prayers and support in this difficult time, as well as the other people who have been praying.

Larry Fookes chaired the meeting for the protest group. Albert Anderson opened with prayer, asking God for His Divine Wisdom and help. Then Larry read his two-page enclosed statement, after which Aimee read her eight-page enclosed statement. Following the two readings Larry opened up the floor to anyone else present who wanted to express their concerns. Seven other people, besides Larry and Aimee, spoke up with heart-wrenching stories.

The Elder Board Chairman, David Wright, announced the next Board meeting for January 3, 2001. We do not know what action they will take. Hopefully, they will be contacting you as soon as possible.

Having fulfilled the requirement of meeting with the Elder board members last night as you requested, we trust that you will quickly be able to complete the process. At the appropriate time, we believe individuals with confidential letters will release their contents when they are confident you are going to enforce positive and strong disciplinary action to take care of Pastor Tim and the issues involved. Please feel free to phone Larry Fookes (Phone 509 ---—) and Bob Greene, (Phone 509 — ----), both former Elder Board Members. They are the contact persons representing the protest group. Also, we are available and can be reached at 509-962-9011.

Thank you for your prayers and support in this difficult time. Also, thanks for giving us permission by phone on Monday, December 18, 2000, for others involved to attend the meeting with us. Their presence was very helpful.

Thank you!

Respectfully,
Albert E. & Aimee D. Anderson
(street #, Street name removed)
(City, state zip removed) - FAX: ***-***-****

=================================

CHRISTIAN MISSIONARY ALLIANCE NATIONAL OFFICE OF VICE PRESIDENT
February 15, 2001
Mrs. Albert Anderson
(street #, street name removed)
(City, State, Zip removed)

Dear Mrs. Anderson:

Greetings from the C & MA National Office.

You discussed your concerns about Rev. Tim Owen with my assistant Mary Johnson on Monday, February 12, 2001. I have reviewed her notes and have also briefly reviewed the packet of letters and other printed documents that you sent me.

Thank you for expressing your concerns and your desire to see appropriate action taken. Matters of the kind that you reported are taken seriously and are followed up. There is no one who accepts Alliance credentials who does not come under the policies that pertain to licensed official workers.

The Elders in their letter indicated that “most of the issues that you raise are matters of personality, interpretation and perspective” and that the accusations were not brought in a scriptural manner. Nevertheless, their review found the specific charges to be unsubstantiated.

I believe that the elders of the church and the District Superintendent Rev. Kelvin Gardner have acted responsibly by listening and investigating the allegations that were presented to them. I have no basis on which to recommend that they overturn the conclusion stated in their January 7, 2001, letter to you and Albert.

If you have additional charges that have not been dealt with, the procedure is to put them in writing and submit them to the Elder Board. Be assured of my ongoing interest and prayer that all parties involved will glorify God by their actions and their attitudes.

Cordially,
Donald A. Wiggins
National Church Ministries
DAW/mhj
CC: Gardiner


THE RETALIATION FOR EXPOSING CMA PASTOR TIM OWEN, ELLENSBURG CMA CHURCH
January 8, 2001

Drake Travis (Membership Termination)

(Street #, Street name removed)
(City, state, ZIP removed)

Drake,

We have reviewed your letters –- one addressed to us, not dated but received by Committee Chairman, David Wright, on or about Friday, December 29, 2000. The letter addressed to PNW District Superintendent Kelvin Gardner, dated December 20, 2000, was enclosed with your letter to us and was also reviewed.

We are saddened that your letters have a strong tone of hopelessness in them. It sounds as though the enemy (satan) has taken you to a level where you feel that you must attack us and the district superintendent with a strong rage. Your letter and actions over the past year and a half seem to indicate that by seeking and successfully achieving revenge against us and Senior Pastor Tim Owen for all that you’ve lost in the last couple of years, all will instantly be restored to you and your control. Drake, it is not going to happen that way. You must repent!

The Apostle John records Christ’s instructions to the Church in Ephesus in Revelation 2:4-6: “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.” Please use your energies to bring glory and honor to the name of Jesus Christ and his church as you did when you first entered the ministry in Ellensburg. Do not attempt to destroy the church, its leadership, nor yourself by denying the love God expresses for you, your family, and us through the life, death, and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ, for some vain perception of revenge. Your actions are against what we are commanded to do in these times.

“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.” (Psalm l) “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” (Psalm 1:33) “I appeal to you, brother, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.” I Corinthians l:10 “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love; But the greatest of these is love.” I Corinthians 13:13 Recognizing the contributions that you made to this church early in your ministry here and the power of the Holy Spirit in you when you were walking in the Spirit, we are all committed to continue to love you and hold you, Marlene, and your children in prayer before God.

However, because of your actions, especially over the last six or seven months, the purpose of this letter is to inform you that, effective immediately, your membership in the Ellensburg Christian & Missionary Alliance Church is terminated. This action was unanimously approved by members of the Elders Committee, in attendance at the January 3, 2001, meeting following a presentation and discussion of your recent (and renewed) efforts to undermine the leadership and disrupt the unity of the Ellensburg Christian and Missionary Alliance Church.

This action is in accordance with church’s bylaws (revised January 2000), Article 1: Membership, Section G: Membership: Termination, Sub-section 4:

“Membership may terminate by dismissal for heresy, willful persistence in sin, or disorderly conduct: A member who avows a clearly heretical doctrine, who persists in a flagrant sin without repentance, or who flagrantly and habitually disrupts the harmony of the congregation may be dismissed from membership. (Galations 1:8-9; I Corinthians 5:9-13; II Thessalonians 3:6". (Emphasis added:)

“A dismissed member may be readmitted only upon showing satisfactory evidence of genuine repentance and amendment of life.”

We also cite the Statement of Standards for Membership drafted and adopted by the Elders’ Committee on or about May 22, 1996:

Minimum Standard for Membership: Sections 2,3, & 4.
Ideal Standard for Membership: Section 9

A copy of the statement is attached and considered a part of this notice.

The Apostle Paul’s letter to Titus gives us very clear and direct instructions for dealing with your willful disobedience to our previous correspondence (both written and verbal) concerning your slanderous attitude towards the leadership of the church.

“Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.” (Chapter 3, verses 1 & 2 - NIV) As an additional sanction to your dismissal from membership, we are directing you to not be on church property unescorted by less than two members of the Elders Committee. Should you desire to be on the property for any reason, you must notify the Committee Chairman David L. Wright with the purpose of your visit and the telephone number and mailing address where you may be reached for response to your request. Your request will be considered by a quorum of committee members and you will be notified of their decision. You should plan on a minimum of seven calendar days for a decision, but not more than fourteen calendar days.

Should you violate this sanction, we will notify the Ellensburg Police Department that you are trespassing. Ellensburg Police Captain Bob Richey has advised us that they will respond to such a complaint in the event that it becomes necessary. We have also been advised by legal counsel to prepare and provide this letter to you. We individually and corporately regret having to take this action against you. However, your continued attempts to disrupt and divide this congregation have left us no choice.

We will continue to pray for you and your salvation in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Paul’s letter to the church at Corinth states: “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Cor. 5:20-21 - NIV)

Drake, we implore you, please be reconciled to God. Again, be the righteousness of God that we believe you were called to be. We desire to cancel these sanctions and welcome you back into fellowship in the strong name of Jesus. We reaffirm our love for you as a child of God.

Regrettably,

David L. Wright Eric Anthony Bill Hunt, Sr. Chairman Vice-Chair
Member
Gordon Kelly Mike Milligan Gary Nystedt
Secretary Member Member
Perry L. Rowe James Rowles John Simon
Member Member Member
Enclosure: Statement of Membership, May 22, 1996
Copy to: Kelvin Gardiner, District Superintendent
Jerry Mapstone, National Office C & MA
Bob Richey, Ellensburg Police Department

======================================

DRAKE TRAVIS’ - - PARTING WORDS

Dave Wright:

I have been dealing with you people on the Board for 8+ years now. This is my last correspondence. The saga between us must end.

I want you to know that:

~I have failed in my responsibility to my God to speak and be a man as He has quickened me by His Holy Spirit. This syndrome began nearly six years ago in February 1995. It won’t happen again.

~I have failed by not leaving your church, with my family, when I first realized that there is no safe place at your church.

~I failed by cooperating with the lie that working 60+ hours a week will appease Tim and bring salvation. I did that instead of ministering to my family first and then to others.

~I failed because I bowed to threats and was more concerned with what Tim demanded than what God commanded.

~I failed because I did not move through the chaos and confront as obligated by my call; I surrendered and became a victim...no more. These are my failings. I am responsible for them. I am suffering the consequences. However, you have had a responsibility in this relationship also. You affirm the resignation of Drake Travis. In rereading your firing letter from June 17, 1999, it is interesting that Drake was not allowed to speak to you –- the board. Proverbs 18:17 asserts, “The first to give his story seems right - until another comes forward and questions him.” You never heard my story, nor did you want to. Amazing that the tone from the June 17,2000, letter is so similar to the recent letters wherein Andersons were dismissed. Larry Fookes was threatened and Drake was ejected. There was no search for facts from those who’ve been injured -- only selfjustification.

It must be easier to call the police. It was all so very Timothean. And you are his elder.

The origin of the recent grievances was serendipity. It was no ones’s plan. You, an elder, don’t know the story. Though dozens of others do.

As for your pastor, he is to do as Psalm 23 says: “...to make them lie down in green pastures, to lead them beside quiet waters and restore souls.” This doesn’t happen at Ellensburg CMA.

Tim pressures the congregation to obey and behave. The elder board is so blinded (as Israel often was) that control is masqueraded as “unity,” and you affirm his version of “unity.”

As I read the Bible, persons have roles. Adam was to garden. Noah was to preserve man and animal. Abraham was to start a nation. Jacob was to name that nation. Joseph rescued it from famine. Moses liberated it. Joshua took it to The Promised Land. Samson judged. Samuel had a message to receive. David expanded borders in geography and literature. Solomon built the Temple. Jeremiah had a message to deliver. Each had a role with God as the Rule.

My experience at Ellensburg Alliance is that there are no checks and balances. Tim thinks he is the Founder and President. Tim is the CEO. Tim is Chairman of the Boards. Tim is head legislator of every committee. Tim is CFO (financial controller). Tim heads up quality control. Tim is the preacher and the teacher. Tim is head of personnel and supervisor. Tim is sergeant-of-arms. Tim is Human Resource manager. Tim is judge. Tim is the jury. And if anyone crosses him, Tim is executioner. Tim is King. And just like in the Middle Ages, there is neither freedom to petition nor assemble. And there is no freedom of speech at Ellensburg CMA either. Cyndi Hart comes to mind!

Gentlemen, the system screams for an overhaul. You are elders. Though the essence of sin is: (I am in control). You are an elder and this is OK with you.

Tim’s worst fear is being discovered. And he’s built an elaborate political system to prevent that from happening. Tim’s primary concerns are his power and his pleasure. It is fascinating that on December 20, 2000, Larry was right on every account laid before you. It is all true.

And you are an elder. I grieve for the sheep.

I am through striving with you. Farewell.

May the truth prevail,
Drake W. Travis

February 23, 2009

Jim Grumbine whines again

Jim Grumbine has noticed that I posted his unkind words on my blog and 3.5 months later during which time I have not communicated with him at all, he then felt compelled to instructed me to remove any mention of his name from my blog and his address from my 'communications'?  I didn't even check that email address until another two months after that, so felt I should probably at least reply, even though it wouldn't be what he wanted to hear.  He admits to being annoyed, which isn't the point, it is the content of what he has said and done which is the problem.   He has made his judgement about me quite plainly as you can see, and about which I am not threatened, because it's just plain wrong.  However after making his judgement about me, he chides me for judging.  Hmm... something not quite right there...

Please remove your blog about me from your web page. I certainly admit to being annoyed with you originally, and terse in the comments you posted – but your tone seems anything but charitable or Christian. You mock those you quote with a sarcasm and demeaning tone that is certainly not consistent with any genuine Christian grace. Further, you have set yourself up as Judge of persons you don’t know, and over whom you have no authority or involvement.

I will not be communicating with you again about this matter. Remove my name, email address and any content referring to me from your blogs or communications. Thank you in advance for your cooperation in this.

James Grumbine



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sorry James it's still a free country, they haven't reinstituted the unfairness doctrine yet.  And yes, that Christian Grace, people like for example -- Martin Luther he was so devoid of it...  especially when he talked about Erasmus's manure in golden chalices.  SO I replied:

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Jim -- are you setting yourself up as judge over me?

Go figure!

get your own blog. Feel free to post this email there.

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No, I am not attempting to do what you have already done in terms of judging.  I am asking simply that you leave me out of your discussions and dialogs. You don't know me or anything about me. If you did, I genuinely think you would be more responsive. I don not know what has brought you to the point of engaging in this type of blogging, but it serves no positive purpose in my view. Regardless, I am again asking you to remove my name and all reference to me. I will give consideration to further legal recourses otherwise.


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Ok so now we are not only going to judge another Christian, demand authority over their free speech, and, we are going to take them to court for simply telling the truth? How many Scriptural violations can you rack up in one short email exchange?

If you knew me, James Grumbine, you wouldn't be so judgemental! You'd be more responsive!  I'm really a wonderful person, you know!  You'd know that, if you knew me!  Sound vain?  yeah I guess it does.  hm...

sorry James, I have had that 'legal options' card played before. Seems Richard Abanes played it with Ingrid Schlueter, Ken Silva, Chris Rosebrough, etc.

You are entitled to your opinion.

Paula

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If anyone is wondering what prompted his original outburst toward James Sundquist, which I was cc'd on, here it is, since he has refused to repent after far more than the biblically mandated number of warnings:

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James Sundquist
10/08/2008 02:40 PM

To
rock.salt@verizon.net
cc
rcjohnst@ptd.net
Subject
How Wayne Spriggs Snuffed out C&MA Pastor and Church in Pennslvania; Extorts Pastor to break Law in Counseling Confidentiality Bribe; Jim Grumbine Collaborator


Dear Pastors, Workers, and Members of the C&MA in Pennsylvania and Members of the Media and Church Discernment Ministries in the U.S. and Canada,

What follows is a brief summary and case study of how Wayne Spriggs systematically destroyed a good and God-fearing pastor and his church.

A number of C&MA pastors revert to the reversion clause in the C&MA Constitution to defend Wayne Spriggs, District Superintendent for Eastern Pennsylvania, but the Reversion Clause (though I believe is a license to steal) can not be invoked capriciously, arbitrarily, without due process outlined in the C&MA Constitution, and without just cause.

Secondly, the Reversion Clause is unilateral, with virtually no accountability of the District or Headquarters. A local pastor or church should be able to prevent the seizure of its property, assets, bank accounts by the C&MA District, if it can document that the C&MA doctrines and teachings have been compromised or apostate, such as Wayne Spriggs has trotted into his district. The C&MA should not automatically be able to seize the property because the pastor or the congregation refuse to be psychologized with science falsely so-called such as SMART and SHAPE. Wayne Spriggs nit-picks over a miniscule percentage of the church's income that was used to pay for the phone long distance calls, Internet, Bob Idding's vacation time, and thereby straining at a gnat, while he swallows a camel of false teacher Rick Warren and Emerging Church teachers , and seizes Reedsville C&MA bank and property worth exponentially more...even though even this was all paid for by its members not him, not the District, and not the C&MA Headquarters. So how much money did the Spriggs personally or corporately through the C&MA District contribute to Reedsville C&MA Church? He wants to save the church's money by taking it ALL? He wants pinch pennies over the cost of ink cartridges for Bob Iddings' computer, but is willing to pay $80 a session to a psychologist Bob Iddings doesn't even need...even Reedsville C&AM Church members and other leaders in the C&MA don't even think he needed. This is a classic ambush by false accuser of the brethren! They make it sound like his severance package was a gift or welfare and then have the gall to attack him personally for rightfully stating his belief that he was entitled to his vacation pay and severance package. This is all vested...you don't earn it after the fact of your firing or resignation. You should ask for what you are entitled to as a good steward of your wife, family, and daughter. Bob Iddings deserved it. To humiliate him for asking, then make threats if you don't behave according to his warped concept of behavior is a stench in the nostrils of the Lord. They make it sound like this all came of out of their pockets. Then we found it bizarre that Wetzel would ask Bob Iddings to reconsider resigning after he told Bob Iddings that they would not renew his license in 2009. And why would Spriggs want to redeploy him if Pastor Iddings had not demonstrated any turnaround and remained unrepentant? Why doesn't Spriggs use Scripture such as the seven churches in Revelation to determine what is a healthy church as criteria instead of the numerology and sorcery of this world's philosophy and science falsely so-called such as SMART psychometrics, let alone demand of Bob Iddings what even John Soper agrees is illegal..that is force him to sign a waiver that the psychologist that Spriggs chose (not Iddings choice) divulge confidential information to Wayne Spriggs. If anyone can't see that this isn't Big Brother, they need their eyes examined. This alone reveals Spriggs true colors! Why isn't it Spriggs credentials that are revoked. The victim pays and the plunderer goes free! Spriggs thinks he is the victim, yet he got all of Reedsville bank account and property, the members get nothing but an empty bag they are now holding. Even if Spriggs wants to take out personal vengeance on Bob Iddings, why did he insist on making his whole congregation pay? Answer: He is an expert in greed and the C&MA's global agenda! I am shocked that out of over two thousand C&MA pastors and workers in the U.S. and Canada, so few showed even an ounce of compassion for the members of Bob Idding's church in Eastern Pennsylvania. Spriggs did not help Bob Iddings or the members of this church, but deserted them...that is clear from his own testimony! Wayne Spriggs came unhinged and attacked Bob Iddings because two former adherents made charges against Spriggs. But how are they inappropriate if they are true? And if these two were former adherents, Pastor Bob Iddings would no longer have any authority over them anyway. If even Daniel Wetzel states that Spriggs decision to revoke Bob Iddings' license was to force compliance with DEXCOM recommendations, why isn't he or Soper forcing Spriggs to make restitution and restoration to Bob Iddings and his congregation and disciplining Spriggs? MR. SPRIGGS AND MR. SOPER, GIVE THE CHURCH BACK TO PEOPLE OF REEDSVILLE AND MAKE RESTITUTION TO STILL ANOTHER PASTOR AND MORE BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST THAT YOU HAVE DESTROYED! Spriggs behaves illegally and is rewarded, and Bob Iddings behaved legally and he and his congregation are punished. Even if Mr. Fred Joost stated that Bob Iddings and his church had done nothing wrong and had done nothing to be ashamed of, yet 99.% of the C&MA pastors and workers who were emailed deserted Bob Iddings and his church or blamed him and the messengers of this alert, and almost none blamed Spriggs, why did he not record his objection in the Dexcom Recommendations? But even though the C&MA has does not care that this happened to Reedsville, they had better watch out if they think it can't happen to them. They had better watch out if they don't conform to the numerology of their SMART psychometrics and usurping the office of the Holy Spirit as though they can measure spirituality, particularly with the tools of men. And even though they don't care, we will continue to notify the church at large and the media, who do care! No wonder the C&MA is getting such a bad reputation. THAT IS BOTH THE APPEARANCE OF EVIL AS WELL AS ACTUAL EVIL! But the C&MA leaders will not get away with this forever, as their sin will find them out!

Please find attached the article which addresses the C&MA Reversion Clause ...attached.
C&MA PASTORS LETTERS OF RETALIATION AND RESPONSES RE C&MA HIJACKING OF CHINESE AND VIETNAMESE CHURCHES:
http://rock-to-salt.cephasministry.com/CMASkullandCrossbonesRM.pdf

JIM GRUMBINE SAT ON THE C&MA DEXCOM BOARD (IN COLLABORATION WITH WAYNE SPRIGGS, T.D. KELLER, FRED JOOST, C.M. HILLYARD, S.P MOTTER, J.A. SMITH, J.W. BROKOPP, D.J. PULLEN) THAT HELPED DESTROY BOB IDDINGS AND RECOMMENDED AND WITNESSED THE AMBUSH OF BOB IDDINGS AND APPROVED ILLEGAL RECOMMENDATION THAT "MR. IDDINGS BE REQUIRED TO SIGN A RELEASE ALLOWING FOR THE COUNSELOR [DR. JIM OR ROY JOHNSTON] REPORT TO THE SUPERINTENDENT", VIOLIATING PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY STATUES AND THE PATIENTS BILL OF RIGHTS ON FEB 5, 2008 9:30 AM]:
Here is an example of the wrath vs. charity from C&MA pastor Jim Grumbine in
Camp Hill, Pennslyvania:


From: jimgrumbine@juno.com
IT IS NOT MY DESIRE TO RECEIVE YOUR LIBELOUS AND TOXIC FAIRYTALES.

FURTHER, AS I HAVE NEVER COMMUNICATED WITH YOU AT ANY TIME FOR ANY PURPOSE, YOUR USE OF THIS PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS CONSTITUTES AN INVASION OF PRIVACY, AND I CAN ONLY CONCLUDE THAT YOU HAVE OBTAINED IT THROUGH QUESTIONABLE MEANS.

YOU ARE INSTRUCTED TO REMOVE MY EMAIL ADDRESS FROM ALL FURTHER COMMUNICATION.

JAMES GRUMBINE

On February 27, 2008 Wayne Spriggs reinforces his illegal threat to Bob Iddings with this statement [I am very familiar with Mr. Spriggs threats because he has made them against me]:

"you will be signing a waiver of release to permit Dr. Johnson to correspond with me regarding your progress in counseling"


Yet C&MA Vice President John Soper states this to Bob Idding in a letter dated August 1, 2008 [after Bob Iddings had already been destroyed by the C&MA]:

"You are under no obligation to release records of conversations with counselor unless you choose to do so."

So the C&MA is indicted by their own testimony, proving that Wayne Spriggs committed extortion against Bob Iddings which is a crime for which you can go to prison if convicted. I can't help but inquire if either of the psychologists Dr. Jim or Roy Johnston, that Wayne Soper picked for Bob Iddings was aware of this illegal act on the part of Spriggs to force Bob Iddings to sign a waiver???

One simply could not believe this chicanery by this lynch mob of C&MA leaders unless it were in writing at their own hands and signed by them.

The inch thick files of letters and documents on Bob Iddings makes this a perfect case study and Wayne Spriggs the posterchild example of how the C&MA destroys a pastor and church if they dare to even question their global Purpose-Driven/Emerging Church Transformation Agenda vs. the New Testament Church.

If for some reason some of you did not receive the document entitled:

"C&MA Purpose-Driven Pirates Steal Another Church Property and Loot Bank Account & UPDATE: Vietnamese Boat People Church Files Criminal Fraud Charges Against C&MA in Los Angeles County"

please advise, and we will send it to you immediately.

Sincerely in Christ,

James Sundquist
Director
Rock Salt Publishing
http://rock-to-salt.cephasministry.com/

P.S. We have endeavored to comply with all requests for removal from our mailing list. However, in many cases, names are on different kinds of lists, or a pastor is listed under a general box, or has different emails. Also, in many cases, your name might not have been immediately removed because Scripturally we are mandated to give two warnings. So if for any reason you have not still been removed and have requested it, please advise, so that we may clean purge your name from the list.

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February 13, 2009

Depression and Anxiety in the Christian Life

I listened to both of these shows, and they were excellent. (Issues Etc is always excellent!)

(click on the link and listen, or right click and 'save linked file as' and then open it from your hard drive when they are done downloading). Pastor Peperkorn has had struggles with these things as well.

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008
Depression
Rev. Todd Peperkorn of Messiah Lutheran Church-Kenosha, WI
http://www.issuesetc.org/podcast/Show58091708H1S2.mp3

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009
Christians & Anxiety
Rev. Todd Peperkorn of Messiah Lutheran Church-Kenosha, WI
http://207.57.94.117/podcast/157020409H1S1.mp3

Further Resources & Reading:

Pastor Peperkorn’s Blog
http://lutheranlogomaniac.com/
I Trust When Dark My Road Blog
http://darkmyroad.org/
“Visitation” by Concordia Publishing House
http://www.cph.org/cphstore/product.asp?category=&part_no=155097&find_category=WEB_ALL&find_description=&find_part_desc=visitation

February 10, 2009

A little taste of hell?

A little taste of hell...

1.I know I run the risk of trivializing what the agony of hell might be like, but just keep in mind that any suffering we go through on this earth is only minor, and carries with it the hope of it ENDING... while we are on this earth. It is disturbing to me that people like David Reagan would imagine up a teaching of hell being temporary, which is not according to what is revealed in Scripture, and in so doing denigrate the Holiness of God by saying our sins aren't bad enough to deserve an eternity of hell.

Even I feel that way sometimes in the middle of my suffering -- how could God...? But I am captive to his Word -- he has said it, and I cannot impose my own sense of morality upon God, who is the source of morality in the first place. David Reagan and others who teach this error have set themselves up in judgement over the God who has revealed himself in Scripture.

2. Since this contains my description of what a bad migraine is like for me, it may be TMI for some people. Be warned. I don't think it's so bad but hey, I'm a mom, a farm girl at heart, and have animals. So matter of fact about these things is OK with me at least in some or most contexts.

Migraine diary:

Saturday evening: I can feel or hear a rumbling in my ears, a tinnitus-like sound that reminds me of when semi trucks or people with loud subwoofers go by outside and cause your entire house to emit a sympathetic vibration. It goes on for hours. I try to go to sleep but find it hard to relax with that thrumming in my head. Gradually I feel my neck ligaments also getting more and more inflamed as well. My left nasal cavity feels plugged, always worse than the right side and feels like it is constantly draining, which surely can’t be helping my stomach feel much better.

Insides feel like everything I eat just sits there making me feel bloated and my stomach feels like I have constant acid indigestion, which causes me to feel nauseated. That particular problem has been going on several days.

Sunday: Wake up in the morning still feeling pressurized and tense everywhere, especially the deep muscles and ligaments along the spine. So I have a little caffeine hoping that will ease the tension before it becomes a headache.

On the ride to church, the tension becomes noticeably worse. I sit in weird positions, letting my head fall backward to try and relieve the tension in my neck. But by the time I get to church I can feel the first pain of a migraine behind my left eye. So I take one 50 mg tramadol before going into Sunday School and have a cup of coffee because the caffeine I took an hour ago still isn’t really helping. I also have a little cookie because maybe low blood sugar is part of it.

By the end of Sunday School my stomach is really nauseated from the cookie and the tramadol. The pain behind my eye has increased to about 5 on a scale of 1-10 in spite of the tramadol. I know that I can’t get upset at all, for that will instantly increase the pain. Silly me I didn’t think to bring any dramamine. So I basically hide during fellowship time in a room with a sofa. I dig out something round and hard (a cup) from a cupboard and place it in a certain position on the arm of the sofa, while I lie down with my body weight mostly pressing that cup into the deep tissues of my neck. This causes a cold burning sensation and makes my entire arm go numb on that side. However, as long as I keep up the pressure, the pain in my eye remains at bay.

I manage to doze off during the church service, but have to wake up periodically to readjust the cup and find a new pressure point, since it’s not just one spot in my neck that is tense.

By the end of the service I have to force myself to get up and go to the restroom. My body works extra hard to flush out the chemicals and extra fluid that seems to accumulate during these episodes, and I am usually having to go every half hour until this is over. I spend some time in there wondering if I should just make myself throw up and get it over with, and trying to comprehend the pain my head is experiencing. It’s probably crept up a notch or two to a 6 or 7 despite my best efforts. I decide against forcibly emptying my stomach, and wander over to the sound booth to tell my husband with no emotion (remember, emotion, both positive and negative, increases pain exponentially) “I don’t know how much longer I can stand this. Where are the keys.”

He says “OK, we’re just wrapping up” and hands me the keys. I stumble out to get my coat and shuffle slowly to the car. I start the car, then get out and get in the back seat, where husband’s laptop is lying in its case. I stand the laptop up on its edge, and lie down with the edge pressing into my neck. Especially the corner. Within ten minutes husband and daughter come out to drive home. Every bump on the road provides a mixture of relief and pain. The jolt would increase the pain but it also jolts the edge of the laptop into my neck so it is somewhat canceled out... for the time being at least. However it does nothing for my feeling of motion sickness. I was sure I would have to have them pull over so I could throw up on the side of the road... but I thankfully made it home. Garage door opened, I shuffle inside.

I stumbled into the nearest bathroom, right inside the house from the garage. Turn on shower full hot, dropped all my clothes on the floor and got in the shower. Turned water temp down from full hot to as hot as I could stand. Curled up on floor of shower, with tall gallon shampoo bottle top pressing into my neck. Laid there only moving to adjust where the water was hitting. I continued in my attempt to keep the pressure on my head by holding my breath and pushing. Every time I had to stop to catch my breath I had to do it very quickly and then return to holding breath and pushing, before the pressure in my head went down again, or the pain would ratchet up about four notches. This is exhausting work and if the migraine is severe, it can go on for hours.

Eventually sometimes I have had to give up on this method out of sheer exhaustion. Then I start to cry, which also makes the pain worse. I end up having someone drive me to the ER, and the ride is torture. The procedure they go through for treating migraines seems to be different every time I have gone there (about once a year maybe for a total of three times). First time they gave me demerol in the hip and some anti emetics. Wonderful stuff. Now they say they can't give demerol anymore because of its addictive properties. great.

Next time I was already exhausted from the pushing/pressurizing my head thing, and I was nearly hysterical trying to deal with the pain in the waiting room. Crying and nose running all over myself, the whole shebang. But I didn't care at that point. I do remember noticing my neighbor who I hadn't seen for a long time, was there with her son. Oh well! I couldn't think about the embarrassment much.. yup, the pain would've gotten worse.

They brought me into another room and the pain started to go away. Just like that. While I am thankful anytime the pain goes away, it is embarrassing to have it do so just before they start to actually HELP you. It's just like your car noise when you bring it in to the mechanic. This time they gave me dilaudid. Awful stuff, didn't work much at all except made me nauseated. They say it's 10x stronger but it doesn't work well for me.

The next time it wasn't so bad but I was going into a weekend and feeling like it'd been building for a long time and was about to explode into another major one, so this was somewhat more a preventative measure. But this time they said "oh we have to do an IV for fluids and give you toradol first and then if that doesn't work we can try morphine" -- it took them at least 45 minutes of actively trying to find a vein, and the migraine thankfully had again gone away mostly by then -- and then once they did find a vein that sort of worked occasionally, they couldn't put the fluid in very fast at all because the vein was so small. And the IV pump kept stopping. It was set at 200 ml per hour. Ridiculous. It would take 4.5 hours to get through the whole bag of lactated ringer's. After an hour and a half I was ready to climb the walls. Whoever came up with this idea never had a migraine! I haven't been back since because that rigamarole simply isn't worth the effort. I may as well stay home and try and fix it. Of course none of these complaining thoughts are allowed to go through my head at the time when I am in pain, at least nothing more than flitting through and forcing myself to forget them for the time being. They get dwelt on later, after it is over.

Back to Sunday after church, me under the hot water -- So I am curled up on the shower floor, and I needed someone to come bring me some baking soda water to end the fire in my stomach, but no one was responding to my calls. I couldn’t yell, or the pain would increase. So I was forced to wait... and not only that, I could not become impatient, nor despair, or have ANY emotional response to the situation, because that would also increase my pain.

Eventually husband came and asked if I needed anything, so I said “baking soda water” and he brought some. It was a little cold for my sour stomach but ok. I needed to settle my stomach before I could handle any more medication. So I drank some, and then threw up (the effort of which also increased my head pain). Well, at least the acid was neutralized. I drank a little more to be sure. Now that my stomach was at least not tormenting me anymore, the focus was turned again to the pain that felt like a rusty railroad spike was being shoved very slowly through my eye socket...and another up my nose on that side. Husband disappeared and the hot water ran out. I had to get out of the shower before it got too cold or all would be undone. But there was no towel. I called weakly a few more times, but no one answered. I shut off the water and tried again, but there was no answer.

So I got out, grabbed my coat off the floor and wrapped it around me to head up to my bedroom, soaking wet. As I passed through the kitchen, my husband is in the kitchen with the radio on. Hard to compete with that I guess. I get to my bedroom and grab a cotton blanket and wrap it around me and fall into bed. Then I have to search for something hard to press my neck on.

After a few minutes I realize I am going to have to put earplugs in to block out the radio downstairs.

It’s at least 15-20 minutes before husband comes in asking if I need anything else. I ask for my relpax, so he brings it and briefly puts some pressure on my neck. I could have him do that for hours until the pain goes away, but he leaves after about 2 minutes, and I have no choice but to accept it, because again, my head will punish me mercilessly if I get upset in any way. I can focus on nothing but the pain, and overcoming it.

I cannot ask for help, because I cannot call out, because the pain will skyrocket. I dare not risk getting up to go ask quietly, because the pain will skyrocket. I cannot get upset about this, because the pain will skyrocket. I cannot think about how many times I have told him this, because the pain will skyrocket. I cannot ask them to be quiet, because the pain will skyrocket. I am paralyzed and at the mercy of others.

I start thinking “is this what hell will be like?” and I think how grateful I am that at least I have the hope that the pain will end at least in the next 12 hours max. Hell goes on forever, with no relief. I start to think “would a Good God do this to ANYONE?” and then chastise myself for my low view of God’s holiness. And remember how thankful I should be for his gracious gift of salvation from an eternity of torment, of which this is only a small taste.

The relpax works, thankfully, within a half hour, and I am able to fall asleep. Husband comes in to ask me something I don’t remember. I fall back asleep. I have to get up by 4 to go to the store and get something for my daughter’s dance shoes, which she has to wear the next day to her lesson. The pain is gone by then, but the sour stomach and motion sickness has returned. I take two of the non drowsy dissolvable meclizine and make my daughter drive to the store while I basically keep my eyes closed as much as possible to avoid the motion sickness.

It takes about three hours of wandering slowly through the stores to get what I need. I figured as long as I had to go out anyway in the first place, and as long as I wasn’t getting worse I better get my errands done so I don’t have to go out again the next day, which will be my recuperation day.

We got home around 7 ish, I don’t remember for sure. I was up for a short time and then crashed in my bed early. The next day was spent sleeping quite a bit. Still wasn’t able to eat all that well, but slowly got better through the day. Slowly my life returns to normal. (which actually isn't all that normal but.. ok!)

The Lord Jesus knows that we will suffer eternally, far more than we suffer anything here on earth, if we depart this world without his atoning blood applied to us and his righteousness granted to our account. He knows we are but dust. Therefore he left his kingly throne in heaven, crammed his omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience, into a human form, born of a virgin, and walked this earth for 33 years in a very hard land. He never sinned but was tempted in all ways as we are tempted, so that he can sympathize with our weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15). He was always in communion with God the father and was God the Son, the Word made flesh. (John 1:1) He healed the sick, made the lame to walk and the blind to see. He fulfilled all the Messianic prophecies. He rebuked the religious leaders for their belief that they could make themselves righteous by following the law and doing good deeds. He was handed over to the authorities, and by an unfair trial they condemned him to a gruesome death on a cross, naked and bleeding and humiliated. To all this he submitted voluntarily. (John 10:17-18) Three days later he rose again and appeared to many ( I Corinthians 15: 3-7) All this was done to fulfill what God had determined would save us from his wrath in eternity. His wrath abides now on all who do not believe, because of their sins, and they will experience the full power of that wrath for eternity, if they die in their sins, without having their sins atoned for by faith in Jesus Christ and his death and resurrection.

The pain of a migraine, or a toothache, or arthritis, or a broken bone...or a slipped disc - that is nothing compared to the eternal punishment for sin which a perfectly Holy God has determined will be the payment for one's sins. The only way to avoid this payment is to have Jesus pay it for you. He offers forgiveness freely to all who truly repent (turn from) their sins and believe on him. Today if you hear his voice, do not harden your heart. (Heb 4:7) Repent and believe the gospel. Turn to him and trust him, and his Word alone. He has offered to spare you from the just punishment for your sins, which to us may seem like small things, but to a God which is infinite and perfectly holy, each offense, each lie, each covetous thought, each lustful thought, makes us unclean and guilty of breaking the whole law (James 2:10), and worthy only to be thrown in the fire which never goes out.

Turn to him in thankfulness for his great love in paying for you and offering to spare you from this awful fate. He did it because he loves you. Those who come to him in true repentance and faith he will not cast out. (John 6:37) Turn to him this day, for you are not guaranteed another breath.